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Minds boggle as logic seemingly defied

BY BRUCE “LEOPARD” PLEINERASTISNAH | STAFF WRITER People were bewildered, amused and times alarmed today as a speight of unusual happenings took place across the South East Queensland region today. Newsrooms were inundated with thousands of callers phoning to report improbable events, including unicorn sightings, a rolling stone that gathers moss and a talking cat. Golfer Unterricht Lylers was delighted as each of the 18 holes...

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Yeti Cleared of Everest Deaths

BY STUART FIGHTMASTER | STAFF WRITER Scientists say the Yeti is not to blame for hundreds of mountaineering deaths while climbing Mount Everest over the last century. Instead, the scientists speculate that a high-altitude cerebral edema is to blame for many if not all of the deaths noit directly attributed to being crushed in an avalanche or freezing to death in the ball-shrinking temperatures. The condition is essentially a haemorrhage of...

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Implausible Story “Totally Not” an Urban Legend: Idiots

Implausible Story “Totally Not” an Urban Legend: Idiots

People throughout Brisbane are assuring friends and family members that a story they heard from a guy about this friend of theirs is absolutely not a bullshit urban legend.

The story has been given wide coverage in “the Media”, with friends telling people that “it totally made the news, like, last year I think.”

The details of this shocking tale are as follows: A female youth of at least drinking age was making out with a man possibly a bit older (although maybe not) on the dance floor of the Victory Hotel.

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Stan Winston 1946-2008

Stan Winston has died, aged 62. It’s funny how you keep hearing a name circulating around all your favourite movies, but you never really put the two together. You never realise just how much of your imagination’s landscape has been sculpted by a single man. Stan Winston, among his many, many achievements, created this- this- this- and even, surprisingly, this- Edward, obviously, not Winona Ryder. Although that would explain a...

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Sassies: Gallant in Defeat

After a close loss of 16-4 against the Cuda Crew the previous week, the Mansfield Sasquatches were ready and raring to go against an inform Blue Cannons. Sadly they lost 11-1. To summarise. The Mansfield Sasquatches game was much like this vomit lying on the grass… Above: Vomit …both were the result of large, hairy men, desperately stumbling around on a cold autumn night. Over exerting themselves after a long, long off season....

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Sassies Lose but Who Cares at This Stage?

BY STUART FIGHTMASTER | STAFF WRITER The Mansfield Sasquatches have surprised critics and fans alike by actually not losing too badly to The Moreton Crew 9-3 The Sasquatches were weak and unfit following a several week hiatus due to Christmas/ New Year break and several byes falling at once. Well, weaker and more unfit than normal. They had actually been scheduled to appear last week, however the torrential rain which had been falling for...

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