Canada has a problem. No, not the fact that they are effectively better than America in every single way and yet have to cop endless taunts from not only Americans but everyone else, now that cultural trickle has taken place. They bear the jokes with typical good-natured stoicism.
No, their problem is that severed feet keep washing up on their beaches.
Eight so far in the last two years. A couple of pairs, and a few singles. Some in shoes, some not.
There was even a hoax foot, where someone stuffed an animal paw in a sneaker and threw it in the seas to wash up for the cops to find. People like to be involved.
The thing that I love about this story is there is absolutely no logical explanation for it. I’m sure there IS an explanation, but it could not possibly be described as “logical”. Occams razor suggests people falling overboard, maybe throwing themselves off a cliff, whatever. But why are just the feet washing up? Why not other parts as well? There’s been at least foyur or five seperate people who’ll never run a marathon again, but only their feet, and no other body parts, are washing up on beaches? Discarding Occam brings a whole host of possibilities, from aliens to very picky sharks.
Either way, there is no way that if they find out what’s causing this, people will go “oh, of COURSE”. I love that. A mystery so strange even the answer is a puzzle.
I’ve been following the news stories (which seem to pop up on the ABC news site quite a lot) since it was just three seperate incidents.
When it hit four it was amusing. Five was surprising. Six a little scary. I was a little over it by seven, and then I thought eight was just showing off.
So what I’m say is fuck you feet-killer-man-shark-alien-creature-conspiracy-thing. Think up something else to keep me amused.
Also have they tested any of the DNA against that of Harold Holt?
Hahaha fuck. I can’t even say anything witty to this because you pricks have covered most of the hilarity.
I would like to say that I really like your new URLs. Much prettier than p?=1337 etc and I love the “Notify me of followup comments via e-mail” checkbox. I’d totally bang the dude who did that. Also I like that he pimped your blog for iPhone/Blackberry/Android users as well. It’s amazing what he can do in 20 minutes. Just wait til he gets to redesign the layout. Oh wait, that guy is me.
Let’s burn Bronson.
Can you pimp it for non-iPhone mobile users? That would be so pimping. Thanks, pimp.
- Pimp.
Burn me at the stake damnit! I need to go out in style!
I’ve pimped it for a few mobile devices not just the iPhone. But as they say, when in Rome…fuck Romans…wait, that isn’t even relevant.I’m covered in fur and have a cane bitches
Administrator was playing the role of Bronson tonight. I don’t think I like Administrator. He can’t pretend to me. He doesn’t have the skills. He tried though. Good on him!
P.S. I know you were Pimp Doyle. It was the /dongs/ in the URL that gave it away! Hahaha
Yeah?
Hell yeah!
… yeah?
You guys should kiss or something.
Yeah.