As good will and cheer spreads across the globe during this festive season, it’s only fitting that I, a bitter and twisted soul, should point out yet another way in which our world is going to come crashing down around our oblivious ears.

You probably haven’t heard much about this because it mostly involves black people far away, but Zimbabwe is currently in the grip of a cholera outbreak. Over 1100 people have died and the World Health Organisation belive as many as sixty thousand others could be infected.

Cholera is a nasty disease, with symptoms including violent diarrhea and vomiting, cramping in the abdomen and legs, and pale skin. It’s transmitted easily in areas with large populations and poor sanitation, and Zimbabwe definitely fits that bill.

The trouble is, I don’t believe it for a second. There’s another disease which spreads rapidly among a densly packed population with poor sanitation which is far more worrisome- zombification.

It’s one of the first things they tell you in any good survival guide dealing with zombies- if you see a news report saying there’s been a cholera outbreak, lock down those bunkers and start hoarding tinned food.

Hopefully they can contain this current flareup in Zimbabwe, but if they can’t it’s going to spread rapidly. That’s why the olilolo team have all bought copies of Left 4 Dead and have been playing them religiously for the last week or so. Not only is it sweet zombie-killing action, it’s perfect training for the real thing. When the undead hordes shamble across the globe, we’ll be ready for them.