My last e-tutorial explained how to blend pies with alcohol and reshape them into donuts. That didn’t go down so well with… anyone. So this month I’ve decided to double down and make an alcoholic chocolate beverage:
You are going to need a bottle of vodka and a carton of eggs.
“Set aside” 1/3 of the vodka, leaving 2/3 remaining in the bottle:
Crumble the kinder chocolate…
… into the vodka:
As the bottle fills with chocolate, it should look like this:
Take a moment with your creation
Chill for a while
You’ve done all the hard work. Take some rest. Or quickly catch up on some chores.
Wait, hold on.
What was that?
If the vodka bottle wants to jump in on the dishwasher cycle, who are you to refuse it?
Let it “bake” for one hour:
Check back in later
After an hour of “cooking”, check back in on your dishes (and vodka)…
As you can see, the chocolate has melted (gasp!) and mixed with the vodka.
Chill, Part 2: Chill Harder
Pop the vodka bottle in the freezer to cool it down:
Remove and serve!
Behold your kinderlicious creation:
Serve each shot in a kinder surprise egg, of course:
The texture is a bit gluggly because the chocolate did not completely melt. This may be due to our rather… unconventional methods. But 80% of the chocolate melted into the vodka.
Unfortunately, vodka is really fucking strong. The result was tasty, but very strong. Perhaps it would work better with another spirit, such as literally any other spirit besides vodka. Rum should work well.
Just as tequila is often bottled with a sombrero,
the hell am I supposed to do with all these kinder toys?
We fry up a classic American-Chinese dish, “orange chicken”, with 10 times the recommended amount of sake.