Scheiße!

I found potato dumplings in the supermarket the other day.

This is big news. I LOVE potato dumplings. They serve no purpose other than to suck up gravy and be delicious – and possibly glue up your insides as they’re pretty sticky. However, the immature child in me noticed something about the brand which caught me by surprise and had me giggling in the aisles.

Heh. Pfanni.

Now, after devouring these lovely balls of starchy goodness I decided to search the brand and see what I could find – specifically what other delectable treats they had awaiting me.

After trawling through a history of the company (none of which I could read) and various recipe ideas (again, can’t read German), I stumbled across an interesting fact: For cultural reasons, the products are exported to North America as “Panni”.

You can’t fault them on this, it makes perfect sense since “fanny” in the US means “arse”. I know I don’t want to be thinking about arses and faeces while I’m chomping down on some gooey goodness. Looks like some quick local research has saved them some unfortunate embarrassment.

This of course begs the question: Why are they exporting a big pile of VAGINA to Australia? You can’t tell me their research didn’t turn up the fact that 60 million Poms, 20 million Aussies, 5 million Irish, 4 million Kiwis, and the English speaking portion of South Africa would all be thinking about female genitals, if they weren’t already, when they heard the word Pfanni. Bums are out, front bums are in!

I like to think they know exactly what it implies in the Commonwealth countries… and they’re okay with it. Arses are nothing but excrement-spewing stench-monsters, but vaginas; now that’s more in touch with the steamy, saucy goodness of kartoffelknodel. It’s what their German forefathers fought for.

That’s really all I wanted to share with you. A little bit of year-four humour to start the week. If over generalised stereotypes have taught me anything, and they have, it’s the German girls have massive boobs and German men keep poo where it belongs, in pornography.