Comic Book Movies They’ll Never Make: Transmetropolitan
Posted by: discostu / Category: Disco Stu's MiscellaneaWhen most people think of comic books they think of superheroes. And it’s true, superheroes are very much a comic book creation. The flying superstrong men in their fluttering capes are a product of the four colour world. But comic books can be so much more than that.
Independent comics have always been more anarchic, dealing with broader themes than mainstream publishers. But with comics booming in the mid 90s, there was room for a lot of comics titles to find homes at the Big Two that wouldn’t have ordinarily got a run. And so it was that Warren Ellis’ Transmetropolitan was spewed into the brain-meat of thousands of unsuspecting comics readers.
What the Hell is That?
Set in the future (exactly how far is never stated, but it’s heavily implied to be quit a bit of time indeed) Transmetropolitan follows the exploits of gonzo journalist Spider Jerusalem, a take-no-prisoners wordsmith with a fuck-you attitude and a habit for sicking anything vaguely chemical into any orifice that will accept it.
Hugely successful after publishing several best-selling books, Spider retires to a retreat in the mountains. However, when the cash starts running low, he has to return to The City (implied to be but never staed as Future New York) to take up reporting again.
Constantly causing headaches for long-suffering editor Mitchell Royce, Spider is helped in his debauched escapades by his “filthy assitants” Channon Yarrow (the tall, amazonian one) and Yelena Rossini (the small, angry one)
Spider soons gets involved in the coverage of the latest Presidential election, and after deciding that the candidate who wins, nicknamed The Smiler, is a complete and utter sociopath, sets himself the task of exposing him and getting him thrown out of office.
Along the way, Spider has to stay one step ahead of The Smiler, meet his deadlines, and keep his readers, all of whom he detests, informed about what’s really going on. As Spider himself will tell you, “trust the Fuckhead.”
What Makes Them So Special?
Like how a description of a crazy party can’t do justice to what actually went down, no mere description of Transmet can accurately portray the sheer insanity Ellis manages to pack into every issue. The world of Transmet is a post-cyberpunk fever-dream which would make William Gibson’s head explode, complete with aliens, designer genetics, and flying cars. Importantly though, all the old problems still exist- discrimination, corruption, and people being bastards.
Into all this Ellis drops Spider, a thinly veiled tribute to the original Gonzo journalist Hunter S Thompson. Spider is a bastard, and he’ll tell you so. But he also believes in the truth, and telling the truth to as many people as possible, so other bastards can’t step on people’s necks any more.
Or to put it in his words- “Journalism is a gun. It’s only got one bullet, but aim it right and you can shoot a kneecap off the world.”
Running for 65 issues, Transmetropolitan is about what it means to be human, why you should never trust a politician, and the simple pleasure of a brand new bowel disruptor.
Why It’ll Never Work
Ellis was working with an animation company until he realised they weren’t expecting to have to pay him, at which point the relationship soured. That project would have featured Patrick Stewart voicing Spider, although at that point he probably could have played him live action as well.
There is the argument that Transmet is unfilmable. I would argue not necessarily, but that it would work better as a television series rather than a movies or movies. The plot is rambling, but definitely has a beginning, middle and end, with events at the start of the book paying off as the series builds towards its big climax.
Not to mention, Spider is a thoroughly unlikeable character. We root for him, but we’re ashamed to do so. He is a drug addict, emotionally unstable, self-centred, pathetic little man with a chip on his shoulder and a mean streak a mile wide.
He’s also got his redeeming qualities, of course, which is why he’s so popular. But he’s a hard sell to a movie exec.
Ultimately, any Transmet movie that wanted to stay faithful to the comics would need to be a hard-R rating, and combine that with the fairly high cost of bringing The City to life on the screen makes a film unlikely.
What We’ll Have To Settle For Instead
Transmetropolitan is a hard one to try and emulate, because there’s really nothing else like it. I guess if you want to replicate the experience, get a copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Johnny Mnuemonic and All the King’s Men, play them simultaneously on three screens while taking several illegal substances.
It won’t come anywhere near being like a Transmet movie, but it’ll be a hell of a trip.
Tags: Comic Book Movies They'll Never Make, The November Challenge