olilolo blog

Well, its been a while since i had anything rant worthy to add to this blog but now that i have enough coordination to be able to type and NOT fall off my chair with a dizzy spell i figured now was as good a time as any…

Last monday i woke up at 5:30 to have a shower and get ready for work and even in my tired state i realised that there was some thing odd happening inside my head. I jumped into the shower and fell down. i figured, “dammit dino, wash the shampoo off the floor before you get out,” but as i got up i realised that there was nothing there to cause the lack of traction. Bah, must just be tired. Yeah, tired, thats it…

i finished my shower and sat down on the couch to have a smoke and before i even lit up the smoke i had a biggest bout of static vertigo i have had in quite some time. so i decided that it was not exactly a good idea to drive my car when i was having trouble maintaining balance for even a short time. i rang my boss and left a message that i wasnt going to make it in and that i was going to see the doctor. i went back to sleep for a while and when dino woke up i told her we had to go for a walk to see a doctor as i was totally munted…

Got in to see a local doc and i told him all my symptoms, ie; blocked ears, stuffed up head, dizziness, high temperature [39ºC] and cold sweats. I believed that i had a cold + an inner ear infection and without even looking into my ears he said, “nope, you just have a cold. here’s some anti-biotics, take them and you will get better.” So i began taking the anti-biotics and nothing was getting better, my dizziness was minimised for a short while but by thrusday afternoon at work it was back with a vengeance. I got home and found that dino was absolutely sick as a dog. She had a sore chest, couldn’t stop coughing, it hurt to breathe and she had a massive fever [38.4ºC] that wouldnt go away even with heaps of panadol. all night i kept asking her if she wanted to go to the emergency ward but she refused and refused but by the time i woke up for work the next morning she was worse and i again, rang my boss and told him that i had to take my wife to the emergency ward. we went to the QEII and were the only people waiting and it still took an hour and a half to be seen. then when we finally did get seen it was one of these goddamned incompetent indian doctors. she nearly stabbed dino in the brain with the thing you use to look in someone ears, she told dino to give a urine sample so she could test it and after having the sample for an hour dino went looking for the doc and she said “oh, we dont need to test your urine, who said for you to do that??” then she told dino to strip down for a chest X-ray to see if she had a chest infection, took the picture and without even looking at the film she said “no chest infection, you have this bad flu going around. here’s a script for anti-biotics. that will fix you up”

now last time i checked, Influenza is a virus and anti-biotics do not attack viruses. fuck i hate these incompetent doctors with a passion…

anyway, i stayed home and took care of dino and mick and by the end of the day, mick started coughing and i was also feeling tingly in the throat. Great. Now the whole family has it. Sigh. Saturday was more of the same but mick and i were getting worse while dino stayed the same…

Finally on sunday, dino started to feel a little better but mick and I were at our worst. mick and i had steady high temps in and around the 38ºC mark but i’ll tell you what. mick handled it better than dino or i did. he is one tough bastard thats for sure. He looked like death warmed up but still played non stop all day and night lol. my little invincible monkey…

I decided that if i felt the same on monday that i would go to the doc again [a different one ffs] and sure enough he told me exactly what i was expecting. he gave me a note for monday and told me to stay at home tuesday, that I have fluid behind my ear drums, i have a very bad strain of influenza and i more than likely caught it off my wife who caught it off a guy at her work who refused to stay at home even though he knew that he was sick with it. he told me to keep taking my anti-biotics as that would help the fluid behind my ears but that my mrs should probably stop taking hers as she had no infection that he could see. he checked mick out and just told us to keep taking care of him as we already were…

now this is where it gets even worse. We needed to go to the shops to get some stuff as we hadn’t left the house in like almost a week by now and dino was driving seeing as i couldnt keep my balance. She was doing great as she has been doing recently and as she pulled into a parking spot, i told her “stop there, thats good enough,” at which point she slammed the gas on full blast and drove the car into a tree and busted up the front end nice and crunchily. Obviously i was going off tap and she was crying but i mean for fucks sake how the hell do you mistake the throttle for the brake. she was barefoot and must have realised that she hadn’t taken her foot off the gas. so i made her fuck off and go to the shops, i quickly unfucked the car out of the tree and checked it out. luckily it was only panel and light damage so its not too bad. i just hope she hasnt bent the chassis rails that the panels sit on otherwise the car is always going to be crooked. sigh X infinity…

she got back to the car and mick was playing around in the back seat and this bit made my week. mick looks at his mum and says;

“MUUUM!! CAAAAR!!! TREEEEEE!!! BOOOOM!!!!!”

at which point i pissed myself laughing and dino asked, “did you tell him that?!” to which i replied, “nope! that was all mick!” and that lightened the mood a bit. i made dino drive us home [otherwise she would never drive again] and i took to the car with my panel beating skills so that the bonnet would open and close correctly and then when i got inside i called a few wreckers and got prices on new panels. a few hundred dollars and it will have straight, if not multi coloured panels and a new headlight unit. Today [tuesday] i woke up at like 4AM with the cold sweats and couldnt get back to sleep cause of the best migraine in the history of my damaged brain so i took some of my hardcore headache tablets which took the edge off it but didnt knock me out. so i sat up until about 9AM at which point i went to lie down, and didnt wake up again until 4PM. i still feel shithouse but i gotta go to work tomorrow. i’ve hit up a mate to get him to give me a lift to work tomorrow and until i get my car fixed so at least i dont have to worry about driving in my current condition…

Fuck the flu and fuck this week. I hate being sick cause when i get sick, i get full blown sick. i never get just a pissy little runny nose or something. i get the most hardcore strain of whatever floats around…

dammit…

That had to have been the most laid back night out ive ever had.

EVER

I didnt get into a fight, i didnt get kicked out and have to find another pub, hell i didnt even really spend that much cash. You bastards should have told me there was another type of drinking years ago!!

Although, having said that, stuart didnt teach me a thing about pacing myself. He at least maintaned his decorum until the dancefloor incident. then the beer garden incident. then the going straight from drinking to work basically…

And now for something COMPLETELY different…

I saw that and thought of you doyle…

… that Nikola Tesla would be a topic of one of my rants. I mean i love the guy. Not in a homosexual-necrophillic* way. But I love the fact that he invented some of the most insanely awesome Doo-dads ever. Like a 1HP motor, driven by water and a flat disc, that could fit into your hand. And FREE ELECTRICITY mined from the air around us and wirelessly harnessable from a tower that could be fitted to your house…

Of course he was spurned by everyone in his time, called a crackpot and a loon, even his employer Thomas Edison for advocating the benefits of AC current. Because as they all knew at the time “DC current is the safest form of electricity and is the way of the future…”

Riiiiiight, tell that to anyone thats been zapped with DC Mr. Ed…
Anyway, i stumbled across this vehicle online, which bears the Tesla branding. Being an electric car capable of performance on par [if not better than] most sports cars of today in its weight class, I was determined to look around the net for corroborating info to back this website up. My scepticism was based on the fact that lots of people seem to cash in on Nikola Teslas “crazy” and “impossible” ideas to explain such things as UFO’s and crop circles…

In my search, it turns out its real. An 80k dollar production vehicle with 0ppm emissions due to it running purely on 3 phase 4 pole AC current. Before you crack a fat over the 0 emissions Doyle, you gotta remember where the electricity comes from. thats right, coal fired plants. So its not a true 0 emissions vehicle until someone starts making Tesla hanessing towers all over the place to provide us with electricity…

As i continued my search I stumbled across this article. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor as it was as if someone had jammed a straw into my brain and sucked the thoughts out then written an article based on the rantings that go on inside my head…
So thats what my thoughts sound like when my racist/xenophobic tendencies arent brought up. Seems to sound a lot more credible than the way my rants normally end up. Maybe i should start minim…… nah, fuck it…

Well, at first it was just annoying and inconvenient. But now, I get pulled over EVERY time a police car passes me, drives next to or passes me [maximum of once a day] for assorted bullshit reasons. Random breath test, licence checks, rego checks. Sometimes they even demand the licences of the passengers in my car…

Last night was the last straw. I was driving Yongas home. I was stopped at the Wecker Rd intersection outside bunnings waiting for my light to change. Just as the other light started to go amber a police car was pulling up to those lights and had to stop. I thought to myself, “Heh, bastards wont be pulling me over tonight unless they run a red…” so I calmly proceeded through the lights turning right then taking the left leading me towards the Mt Gravatt shops near my place. Just as I got to the ‘turn left at any time’ sign I saw the blue and reds accompanied by a siren and looking in my rear-view I saw and heard the police doing a burnout u-turn. I KNEW they were going to be pulling me over so I just pulled over and got out of the car.

I was outside, leaning on my car and waiting for them by the time they pulled in behind me and as both female officers exited their vehicles i saw them both un-button their pistol belts and shout “PLEASE SIR STAY IN THE VEHICLE!! THERE S NO NEED TO HAVE EXITED THE VEICLE” which I thought was a completely unnecessary escalation of force. I informed them instantly that I did not have my licence on me as I was dropping Peter home and forgot to grab my wallet. I then asked why I was pulled over and I was told “random breath test” by one, which was bullshit because if they had merely targetted my vehicle for a random breath test, they would have had the breathaliser ready like they normally do instead of having to go back to the car and get it.

I blew 0% and they then asked me for my licence. I asked “… are you fuckin serious?? i just told you I dont have it on me, I live up the street if you want to follow me or drive me.” and instead the blonde one pulled out her notepad. So I instantly rattled off my name, D.O.B and licence number [I bet she doesnt get many ppl remeber THAT number...] and informed them that my mother is the registered owner of the vehicle. She went back to the car to check off the details while the short black haired one made sure I didn’t, i dont know, pull a shotgun out and do a GTA on their asses. I had had enough with the constant harrasment and asked,

“so why the hell does every police officer have to pull me over whenever they see me? Am i flagged in the system or something? Did I rob a bank in my sleep or something because I’m fuckin sick of this shit…”

Her response was “ummm, sir this was a random breath test and…”

“So was every single other time. Or a licence check, or some other bullshit excuse. Just tell me the real reason the computer says to pull me over…”

“ummm, sir, errr, the computer, ummmm, this was a random breath test” as she desperately glanced towards her partner…

A few moments later her partner emerged saying was free to go and i said “thanks for nothing. good work on making the streets safer… for fucks sake…” and off i went…

Now, I know i was a smartass in the end. But i have been getting pulled over for following the road rules and shit. Fair enough when I was a complete hoon and was always speeding, but i never got pulled over back then. Now its really getting beyond a joke. I mean im even getting pulled over by paddywagons and dogsquad cars. They aren’t allowed to pull you over for traffic violations. They only pull over people who are flagged like parole violators, violent criminals, stolen cars, reckless drivers, etc…

I’m going to write a letter to my local MP and complain Because this is bullshit and I wont stand for it…

… for you see the United States has deemed that file sharing and piracy are the work of terrorism. Be it by undermining the financial stability of america by thieving its intellectual property, or physically selling pirated materials. And the US claims that these pirates are ”

Organized, violent, international criminal groups” and they claim that they will start handing out 33-month sentences to anyone caught stealing intellectual property. Thats right. ANYONE. So now the US federal governent have jurisdiction GLOBALLY apparently???

So thats right boys, for every song, every movie, every image we dowload off the Intertron, we are supporting Bin-Laden and his band of merry men. And now that the US congress want to be able to detain and arrest people internationally. Sounds to me like the owners of said intellectual property got their knickers in a twist and asked their old texan imbecile mate, G.W. Bush to make piracy an act of terrorism in an attempt to limit the amount of money they dont make each year…

Notice how i didnt say “lose” in that last sentence? I mean look at how much money the organisations that sell these products make each year. Piracy obviously isnt really affecting them much…

Well, this was originally being typed by bruce but doyle told bruce he smells and now im typing…

Anyway, I bought myself a PC graphics tablet and doyle and bruce came over so we were fucking around with it. I pissed dino off making a creepy pic of mick [I had to delete it =(] then we made this picture of peter

After we pissed ourselves laughing we decided to try and make some other pics like stuart with boobs and something with Jacqui but my skills in photopaint are extremely lacking, so lucky stuart. 8008135

One cool feature of the tablet is the ability to use handwriting recognition in MS Word. Unfortunately it is completely useless. We first wrote this blog post on the tablet. This was the result:

Well I bough. A graphic: f tab it and Iv e never laughed so Mie:’ h 1am writing this using MS word with handwriting recognition on and there is ho way. I to – write full stops well not on purpose f me doyle and Bruce were playing with it tonight and I nearly passed myself writing this S It way c C damn no brackets lot ony off in.

Lets givethis anofhe try . 1 – Some of us Went o up to the park today for a BBQ – was pretty, nice. C subsequently 1 we wert to Jace J amyls place and watched K weddings and a funeral. Qui- te an enjoyable day all round, really ) now at Ben’s place S.. . I

As you can see it’s not exactly the best feature for everyday use.

We went back to having some fun in Paint

This is now Bruce typing, cause Doyle has a “headache”. I reckon that it’s just an excuse. He’s just a lazy, lazy man. Doyle started with paint and he drew that thing:

Above: This is my picture of a gun-toting angel from hell. Yes that is supposed to be a gun. What? You don’t think it looks anything like a gun? Well screw you, buddy. Like to see you do better (sobs). Cunt. - Click to enlarge penis image.

P.S. How did the pirate get to the cinema?
In his carrrrrrrgh.

Well as you all know, im officially out of the army, dino is going back to work on monday and im going to be a stay at home dad. Let me just say, i dont know what these mothers complain about. It’s easy to take care of a kid…

When they are sleeping that is. Once they wake up. Oh. Dear. GOD!

Its so funny, its like trying to learn another language, one that has no base grammar structure, no comprehensible words and random body language and facial expressions…

Oh well, ill get used to it soon…

I fuckin hope…

Well, i’m officially pissed off. The army has decided that I am medically unfit to continue to serve so they are discharging me. I mean i’ve been telling them for 3 years that my leg was too fucked for this job but they kept me in till finally, just before christmas they decide to tell me that I have to have my shit packed, my house moved, my life started anew as of the 2nd of March 2006…

Now, in my honest opinion, that sucks donkey balls. Great big syphillis infested, black plague carrying, gangrenous donkey balls.

If i had wanted to leave of my own volition they would have demanded 2 years notice before I tell them that I am even considering leaving then i would have to ask for permission to apply for the paperwork to start my discharge a year in advance. 6 months later if they agreed that I could ask to leave then I would have to write a discharge statement. If you are honest and up front and write that it has been hell and nothing but a growing ulcer in the pit of your stomach causing you endless mental torment at the hands of the sadisticly insane heirachy then you aren’t allowed to leave, but telling them how much you love the army and how great it has been even if that has clearly not been the case, gets you a possible ticket out. So by the time that you are actually out you have had 2 years in which to prepare for the transition back to the real world…
I have been given exactly 2 months… two whole months…

In these 2 months I have to apply for my compensation and recieve notice back on wether the army accepts liability. A process that usually takes up to 4 months. The compensation board itself is also rather humorous. The Army do not have an objective 3rd party to determine liability of injuries. The Army itself assign people to decide wether the army was liable, and wether to pay compensation. I also have to find a new house to live in because I live in an Army house. I also have to relocate my ADSL and Foxtel and fight for the Army to pay for the reconnection costs because they are forcefully ejecting me from the house that I was assuming that I would live in for quite some time. I also have to find a way to support myself, my wife and my child with no qualifications while I go back to tafe to study something [read: mechanical engineering]. I was told that the Army would be paying for 75% of my study costs regardless of wether they are liable or not. Turns out that was a lie. They will give me $4500 towards a short course ONLY if they admit liability. Fuckers. Then there are the army specific clearances and they are just a drawn out pain in the un-lubed sphincter…

I would continue but it’s late and I have to work tomorrow…

PS: I know he will never read this but here goes. To Captain Adam Gower. You are a low sickening man that in your quest for promotion and by issuing unlawful commands to me, have ruined my life and my body. Burn forever in hell and hope to god that I never see you again…

/rant

Hey guys, I just wanted to share 3 things…

#1 : I just saw Logan’s Run this morning on fox classics and it was one of the few movies from my childhood that I actually can watch as an adult and still enjoy as much as I did as a child. Probably because I actually understood the concept they were putting across back then…

#2 : Also watched planet of the apes shortly after and have to admit that right at the end when Charleton Heston sees the statue of liberty and states,

“…you maniacs you finally did it, you blew it up, damn you, damn you all to hell!”

instead of remembering the whole point that charleton is actually trying to put across, that if mankind doesnt keep itself and it’s weapons in check we shall destroy all we hold dear, I cant help but remember the episode where Homer Simpson said it…
It literally ruins the whole seriousness of the whole movie and made me laugh… hehe, Homer funny…

#3 : I finally finished painting my bike today… W007!!!1!! 1 4M 50 1337 R16HT N0W!!!1!!!1!

My cousin from Austria came in today, picked her up from the airport and we visited my folks like planned. Fair enough, no big deal. I get to my parents house and noone is home, oh well whatever. I let myself in and go to pat Diesel [my german shepard] and i noticed something.

FFS, my dad shaved the dog.

A german shepard…

Bald…

sigh…