BY STUART FIGHTMASTER | STAFF WRITER

Stunning onlookers and themselves alike, the Mansfield Sasquatches have managed to not lose, just three games into the current season.

Of course they didn’t win either, instead drawing 6-all with the Postman Pats.

The surprises started early for the invigorated Sassie side, not only putting points on the board first, but doing it within the first five minutes of play.

The shock of actually being in front on the board was too much for many Sassie players, who jerked and dribbled in confusion.

The resulting break in concentration allowed the Pats in for the first of their tries for the night.

What followed was a desperate and flailing match, as both sides tasted the sweet air of victory and the rotting stench of defeat.

Desperate runs, tries scored back and forth, and a constant wailing in the air all marked a match that most will not want to remember, but no one will ever forget.

The Sassies experimented with their passing game this match, passing early and often. Very often. Indeed, at times it seemed as if the ball was made of child pornography, and the Sassies players were under investigation by an ASIO taskforce.

Unfortunately, as often as it led to tries, it also led to dropped balls, giving the Pats valuable field position at crucial points of the game.

However the Pats were easily a match for the Sassies, by which I mean they were generally mediocre players with a small amount of flair and one or two ringers.

The final scoreline was an indication of how closely the teams were matched, and many judged it to be a fitting result, as there could be no winners from a match like the one that was witnessed, only those who managed not to lose.

Sassies motivator and star playmaker Ory was typically optimistic.

“The team played really well tonight,” she said. “They’ve really started putting together plays, passing the ball and moving forward in attack.”

Team Captain Doyle didn’t share this view.

“If that had been a real football game,” he said, “they would have called it a cripple fight.”

Social Touch expert Magnus “Dan ‘Bob’ Houghton” Jones begs to differ.

“I’ve seen cripple fights,” he said. “And that was no cripple fight.”

“A cripple fight would have at least been funny.”

The sassies are reportedly courting a few star cripples as ringers for the next match.

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 6.50pm. Wednesday 10th October 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 5
Crowd Size: 2 (Amy and sassie baby, who are now considered actual team members and required to run-on if needed.)
Mansfield Sasquatch Players: Doyle, Courtney, Stuart, Peter, Kristen, Lachlan, Jace, Ory, Jacqui, Michelle, Dani.
Tries: Lachlan- 5, Jacqui- 1
Man of the Match: Playmaker Ory, who kept her cool despite being given multiple reasons to throttle her fellow players.

BY STUART FIGHTMASTER | STAFF WRITER

The Mansfield Sasquatches have claimed a moral victory in the match against What’s It Wurth. Moral victory, of course, meaning they lost 12-5.

Many spectators were amazed by the scoreline; not obviously, by the fact that the sassies lost, but by the fact that they didn’t lose at all badly.

There were immediate speculations of match fixing, however nothing can be substantiated at this time, other than several Sassies suddenly driving Mercedes and sporting gold chains thick enough to choke an elephant. However in the interests of maintaining a non-libelous stance, these could have merely been stolen.

The early start was a worry to many Sassies, with the six o’clock kick-off clashing with many players’ appointments with their regular drug dealer or bookie.

There was concern leading up to the starting hooter, with only five players on hand to take the field, the Sassies might have had to forfeit and give up the chance to be defeated fair and square.

Salvation came in the form of the last-minute arrival of Heart-and-Soul Stu and his sister Dani, making her debut appearance. Stu immediately stripped off, causing several people to vomit wildly, donned Sassie attire, and took the field.

The match was a surprisingly even affair, with the newly invigorated Sassies side taking the fight to What’s It Wurth on many occasions.

The arrival of most of the other Sassies players minutes into the first half was a welcome relief for many still on the field, as it was, to date, the longest they had ever spent on the field at any one time.

An early try by Wurth seemed to signal a repeat of last weeks performance, however it was answered within the next set by Young Gun Lachlan, aided magnificently by new Ringer Nathan.

The Sassies five tries were split between these two players, as each made breaks in Wurth’s defensive line.

However in the constant back and forth action, it was What’s it Wuth who managed to score more, therefore leaving the Sassies, once again, with the soggy sao.

However team officials and coaching staff say a lot of positives came out of the match. Head Trainer and spitoon dispenser Andy “Arselicker” McGoolity said the team would only get better as the season continued.

“Barber fish don’t mumble in the broomtide at noon, sailor!” he exclaimed

Another team official, Patches “Patches” O’Reardon, came up at that point, hit McGoolity on the head with a large mallet, and dragged him off, shouting something about “family distress”.

Team Captain Doyle remained in the bushes, attacking passersby.

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 6.00pm. Wednesday 3rd October 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 1
Crowd Size: ~4 (Amy and sassie baby, Mrs Doyle, Mrs Ryan, various horrified passersby)
Mansfield Sasquatch Players: Doyle, Courtney, Stuart, Peter, Kristen, Lachlan, Jace, Ory, Jacqui, Michelle, Nathan, Dani.
Tries:Lachlan x 3, Nathan x 2
Man of the Match: Super-ringer Nathan, dragging the Sassies up single-handedly.

BY STUART FIGHTMASTER | STAFF WRITER

The Mansfield Sasquatches have shown a magnificent return to form in their first game of the season, being gloriously beaten 21-1 by newcomers Running on Empty.

The stunning loss hearkened back to the glory days of the Sassies of old, with the final scoreline easily surpassing last year’s debut effort of 17-2 against Bye Round.

The flow of the game was set up early, with the Running on Empty line of attack easily out-manoevering the Sassies within a single touch, crossing for their first try of the night within 60 seconds of the start of play.

They managed to keep up this pace of try-scoring with an almost workmanlike precision, making the Sassies appear to be standing still.

To be fair, in many cases, they were.

With winning an almost laughable aspiration, the Sassie’s tactics turned to a defensive action, digging in and defending the line of play to prevent a scoreline blowout.

However this too failed, and the Sassies could only pray for the sweet release of the full time siren.

The single spark of Sassie flair came midway through the second half, when Young Gun Lachlan made a break for the line and fell over it, in the process grounding the ball and keeping the home side from a scoreless loss.

Team officials say they’re very pleased with the result, as a win this early in the season might have put ridiculous false hope into players and fans alike.

With the maiden game out of the way, the focus now turns to the rest of the season. The break has reportedly left the team both energized and severely out of shape, with several players clutching their chests at various points in Wednesday’s game and screaming “NOT YET GOD, IT’S TOO SOON!”.

In addition, the side has seen an injection of “fresh meat” as Heart-and-Soul of the Sassies Stu so eloquently put it, gaining new regular Sasquatches in the persons of Dani, Bec and newcomer Michelle to round out the female ranks.

These new regulars could prove quite valuable, with a key weakness in the side last season being the lack of female reserves. Female players were regularly forced to play up to a full forty minute game, often with the threat of a severe beating to come. While Australia says No, the Sassies, at least as a motivational technique, say Yes.

There is some concern over the effect a summer season will have on the Sassies ability to actually play a full game, let alone win a match. Several health experts have warned trainers to be on the lookout for heat related disorders such as “being puffed” and “death”.

Team Captain Doyle remains optimistic.

“While Sasquatches are better suited to the colder weather, they are adaptible creatures. I think we’ll do fine and keep up the proud Mansfield Sassies tradition of losing by the skin of our teeth,” he said.

When it was pointed out to him that, despite rumours, no one on the team was actually a sasquatch, Doyle roared, knocked this reporter down and ambled into nearby bushland.

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 7.40pm. Wednesday 26th September 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 5
Crowd Size: 2 (Amy and the cutest little sassie baby you ever saw)
Mansfield Sasquatch Players: Doyle, Courtney, Stuart, Peter, Bruce, Kristen, Lachlan, Jace, Ory, Jacqui, Michelle.
Tries:Lachlan x 1
Man of the Match: Super-Ref Angus MacDoogall, for his tenacity in insisting on reffing every single Sassies game.

It’s been 5 weeks since the Mansfield Sasquatches last game. 5 long weeks and the end of season celebrations are still going strong.

It all started at their last game, a reply of a match cancelled early in the season due to torrential rain. It was a highly charged match, in which the younger and well trained Helen Stewart were given a scare when the Sasquatches rose to the occassion and stayed competitive the whole match. In the end they were simply too many perverts in the Sassy ranks who found it difficult to keep focussed while young, supple flesh danced around them to score. The double-entendre well intended in the minds of some. The final score was 7-10 to Helen Stewart.

That night, revved up and sexually frustrated, the Sasquatches hit the town and started a 2 week bender in which all manner of sin was indulged. Locals were horrified by some of the acts, with one in particular making international press.

After that incident the club took measures to swiftly whisk the players away to the Sunshine Coast hinterland where it was hoped they could celebrate how they wished, away from prying eyes and without risk to the public. It was a sucessful operation till the final night.

As a reward for an incident free trip, they were allowed to attend a local licenced establishment. After a pleasent dinner it all was going well, till Saturday night Karoeke began. Within half-an-hour the pub was abandoned by most of the locals, leaving behind only those unable to walk, and pretty girls trapped in the grasp of a Sasquatch.

The next day charges were lain against several members of the group. Bruce was charged with destruction of property after allegedly dancing on a table before diving on to another and irrepairably damaging the both. Doyle and Courtney were charged with indecent exposure after allegedly taking advantage of the hood of a parked courtesy bus. Jacqui, Peter and Kristen were charged with drunk and disorderly after attacking each other, while Stuart was charged with sexual assault after allegedly chanting “fresh meat” while chasing down “foreign bitches”.

After bail was posted the Sassies made their way back to Brisbane, nursing sore heads and broken limbs. They have since started training for next season, armed with a plethora of new drinking games and illigitmate children.

Welcome home Sassies, and goodluck!

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 9.20pm. Wednesday 8th August 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 3
Crowd Size: Hazy.
Mansfield Sasquatch Players: Doyle, Courtney, Stuart, Peter, Bruce, Kristen, Lachlan, Jace, Ory, Jacqui.
Tries:Lachlan x 4, Ory x 2, Jacqui
Man of the Match: Inspiration champion, Doyle

…unlike the latest sports team in the area, riding in on the coat-tails of the proud Sassies.

The ‘Hot Potatoes’ have entered the local sporting arena with a level of pomp and flamboyance which has simply bordered on arrogance. After the success of the Sasquatches in stirring local pride, the Hot Potatoes have formed to bring Netball to the people of Mansfield. With all of Potatoes players linked in someway to the Mansfield community, the Sassies themselves sent well wishes and hoped the two organisations could help make the area the epicentre of the Brisbane sporting scene. That was before the ice cold spuds first game.

In a scene which has horrified competition organisers, and traumatised a visiting school group from Romania leaving many badly shaken and two with chronic diarrhoea; the Hot Potatoes have been utterly destroyed in their first outing 39-4. For those of you unfamiliar with Netball the points are similar to Touch Football. Each time your score it’s one point. The Hot Potatoes scored a pathetic 4 times, to a massive 39.

This would be bad enough, but it was the lack of effort which has sickened locals. Unlike the Sassies, when faced with adversity they simply gave up in a scene even “lay-down-Sally” would be embarrassed by.

One local, Jarvish Lal, said “I’m am totally disgusted by what has happened. The Sassies made me proud to live in Mansfield, to be one with my inner Sasquatch. Now I just feel ashamed. totally disillusioned.”

A local psychologist is also disappointed with their choice of mascot. “The Sasquatch is a good mascot. They are a proud race. Very noble. Potatoes are potatoes. Starch filled, flavourless balls of Irish dissension. Bah!”

The Sasquatches have been relatively quiet on the matter since the game, releasing only the following statement: “They are definitely the SEQ Crushers to our Broncos”.

The Sassies on the other hand suffered a noble defeat, against a tough opposition last week. They went down 16-2, to Showtime. It was a close game, and it’s hoped that they still have a chance to make the finals. It’s been a great first season for the Sassies. Mansfield is truly proud!

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In unrelated news, the Mansfield Bugle and the Mansfield Sasquatches have signed a mutual sponsorship deal. It is likely to bring many benefits to both parties, as well helping the Bugle continue to bring you exclusive game footage and news reports from all the Sassies’ events.

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 9.20pm. Wednesday 1st August 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 1
Crowd Size: 5 – Amy, Mikayla, Jo, Mr Pannel, Joel.
Mansfield Sasquatch Players: Doyle, Courtney, Stuart, Peter, Bruce, Kristen, Lachlan, Jace, Ory, Bec, Niccy, Jacqui, Nathan.
Tries:Lachlan, Jacqui
Man of the Match: Number 9

The Mansfield Sasquatches fan day spectacular, which was hoped to help bolster the clubs standing in the community, was thrown into turmoil on Wednesday as their opposition Helen Stewart forfeited only hours before kickoff.

Captain Aaron Doyle got the phone call just after 1pm that the opposition would not be playing, citing team morale. With so little time to contact the thousands expected to turn up to see the game, the competition offered the option of either having a bye week or utilising the referee for a ‘scratch-match’. A match where they could either play each other or involve their friends and/or families in a one-off ‘fan day spectacular’ exhibition match. After much consideration the Sassies decided to not disappoint their loyal followers and opted for the match.

Doyle put out the call to all the Sasquatch faithful in an attempt to fill two teams. Was there enough support left in Mansfield for the flagging side?

Five hours and hundreds of sms’s later, the Mansfield Sasquatches came together at the field not knowing what to expect. Jacqui withdrew from the game at the last moment, as did Niccy and Nayda. Without a team to play they would be forced to line up in front of an angry crowd, against themselves in a small four-a-side joke more than match. The only other option would be to lose their honour and Sassy pride with a forfeit.

…but slowly people filed in. People from all walks of life, from all over Brisbane. Coming together. Sasquatch wannabees every one of them. There were friends from school, university and work. Brothers, sisters, friends of friends. Wild animals. Each had heard the tale and had wanted to be part of the action. Each deep down wanted to express their inner Sasquatch. Amongst loving friends and family. Before a crowd of millions.

And that crowd was not disappointed, with a never before seen extravaganza of skill, comedy and innovation. Feats , gracing the Touch field for the first time were performed in front of the grateful public. Sassy playing Sassy. Players swapping teams. Untested new players. The referee continuously intercepting the ball and scoring for either team. Kickoffs. Backchat. Jeering. Sledging. You name, it they had it in a game that took the crowd back to all the action of Touch Football in the ‘80s…. and then some.

The once mighty mascot for the team, Magilla, a silverback Eastern Mountain Gorilla was unshackled and released upon the field, playing with unexpected speed and dexterity. Scientists attending the game have hypothesised that after watching so many games of touch, and having such prime examples to learn from, that he must have picked up the rules by himself and was trying to impress us. Once during the game a punch-drunk Lachlan ran up in defence and smashed him with a crunching tackle. In a heroic move, Magilla shook off the agony and simply got up and played the ball and continued playing the majority of the game. The scientists claimed that while this would usually be described as animal cruelty, it was incredibly entertaining and therefore who were they to judge?

This chaos and randomness epitomised the night and in the end neither team ‘won’ the game. Touch Football won, as did the fans… but most of all The Mansfield Sasquatches won that night, every single one of them.

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 6.50pm. Wednesday 25th July 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 6
Crowd Size: 13 – Amy, Mikayla, Mrs Doyle, Mrs Yong, Mr and Mrs Ryan, David, Mrs Shoobridge, Mr and Mrs Layt, Lauren, Ryan.
Mansfield Sasquatch Players (Actual and Honourary): Doyle, Courtney, Stuart, Peter, Bruce, Kristen, Lachlan, Jace, Matt Y., Blair, Bek, Matt M., Tim, Steph, Damian, Rebecca, Mark.
Tries: Numerous by Lachlan, Mark, Tim, etc etc
Man of the Match: The Referee – Nathan

After the previous week’s celebrations, a cocky Sasquatch outfit took the field on Wednesday night against Loose Cannons. In a pathetic scene, in front of hundreds of fans excited by current form, the Sassies were destroyed 14-2. Some analysts have compared it to the Somme rather than a game of noble Touch.

The Sassies’ plays were slow, and their running slower. The attack was predictable and their defence desperate.

The only brief glimpses of their former selves were from hard-arse Ory and war-bitch Courtney, both whom tore the defence apart to score a try a piece. Sadly their efforts were not enough to stem the flow of Loose Cannon tries.

In fact if they were the tip of a ‘tampon’, with the rest of the team making up the remainder of said ‘tampon’, the ‘school girl’ that is the Mansfield Sasquatches’ games would have run home long ago in rank embarrassment of her dripping pants as the flow of Loose Cannon ‘blood’ was unabated. If of course by ‘blood’ you substitute ‘tries’.

Bad metaphors aside, the Mansfield Bugle has a proud tradition of being a bandwagon paper. Consequently unless this end-of-season slump is reversed, we will start reporting on the Mt Gravatt Maulers law bowls team, whose following is growing as they rip open the opposition with masterful bowls work. Delightful.

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 6.50pm. Wednesday 18th July 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 2
Crowd Size: 5 – Amy, Mikayla, Jacqui, Joel, Mrs Doyle.
Mansfield Sasquatch Players: Doyle, Courtney, Kristen, Peter, Jason, Lachlan, Bruce, Stuey, Ory, Aly, Peter C.
Tries: Courtney, Ory
Man of the Match: Blue-knee fast-feet.

Unlike most weeks this is not a tale of comedy, or heroics. This is not a tale of stupidity, or arcane forces. This is simply a tale of what could have been.

Following the slaughterfest of the previous week, the air was full of unease for the Sasquatches. On top of this was the continued absence of team backbone Bruce, the repeated absence of Jason, and the random disappearances of Bec. Their interchange bench was reduced to 4 rather than 6.

No speeches were made before the game. No petty niceties, or mutual back scratching. The Sasquatches simply ran on, their hearts full of determination not to repeat the atrocities of past games. They ran on with what they had been lacking the week before: utter desperation.

Time was blown on… and it was evident from the first moment they touched the ball that this a different side; a side that thought differently of itself, that believed in a deep part of it’s hive-mind, they had a chance. .. and in a first for the Mansfield Sasquatches they were the first to score a try against a full strength opposition, charging through a ragged Hydrogen defence.

With celebration still on the lips of the Sasquatches, discipline lapsed for a moment and they let Hydrogen sneak past for their first of the night. It was tied on 1-all, but the Sassies did not lay down. They continued to fight. Unfortunately the superior skills of Hydrogen and the jubilation of the previous try raised them and they charged through for their second.

The Sasquatches, not wanting to be outdone or let the game get away from them, ran through a beautiful try to level the scores and then threw on another to creep back into the lead. Just before the break, Hydrogen got another through to once again equal up the match.

The Sassies played well, marking their players and running up before the opposition had a chance to react. They talked it up on the field, and handled themself professionally. Previously quiet, ‘sideburns’ Kristen played with increased speed and accuracy, defending with a level of determination unseen till now.

In another first for the Mansfield Sasquatches, they were not losing at halftime. The score was 3-all. Again spirits were high as the a possibility of winning a game entered their minds.

The second half started and again it was a tight competition with the momentum flowing back and forth as both teams would gain slightly on the other. Tries were equal as well, one for one. The Sasquatches and Hydrogen would each be momentarily ahead, before the other would come clawing back and take it away.

At the height of this battle, disaster struck. As Hydrogen were running away to score their sixth, temporary touch-lord Neil tried to run him down, but was just not able to catch him before the ball was grounded to again level the scores. The momentum of the chase was too much, however, and he was unable to stop himself from crashing into the Hydrogen player.

He lay there flailing for over 5 minutes. The Sasquatch players on the sideline were confused, and did not know what was going on. All they saw was a man in the orange and blue of the Sassies, laying on the floor in agonising pain. It soon became apparent who it was and news was relayed back of what happened. Heart-and-soul Stuart was sent out to replace him as Nicci helped him struggle from the field. The Sassies had to put it out of their minds and play on.

Unfortunately the injury reduced the number of male Sasquatches on the bench to 1. The secret to their success in the first half was partly due to their high rotation off the bench, with players changing quickly and often, before they had a chance to tire. The policy had served them well but it was now an impossible task and the Sassies had to rely on multiple players staying out there for extended periods, with substitutions at only the most critical of times.

With the side significantly weakened, almost all the interchanges were taken by Lachlan as he desperately ran around the field in defence making touch after touch, trying to cover the gaps created by an exhausted Sassies outfit. The Sasquatches could feel the game just slipping away from them.

The Sassies were out on their feet. Exhausted from lack of fitness and excessive field time, they could not keep up with the needs of the game. Despite much effort, in the last 10 minutes of the game, as Neil lay on the sideline in agony and the Sasquatches ran around in pain, Hydrogen posted 2 unanswered tries to seal victory.

The final score was 8-6 to Hydrogen

It would have been easy to give it all in…. but despite the loss, the Sassies held their heads high. They had shown they could be a competitive side and when they were down, exhausted and beaten they still played their hearts out and kept the game within reach. There were no criticisms in the post game wrap up, only laughs and compliments on how well each had played… everyone filled with Sassy pride.

Deep down, though, one could not help but wonder… what could have been.

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 8.30pm. Thursday 5th July 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 5
Crowd Size: 1 – Joel
Mansfield Sasquatch Players: Doyle, Courtney, Kristen, Peter, Lachlan, Stuey, Jacqui, Ory, Nicci, Neil.
Tries: Neil, Lachlan x 5
Man of the Match: Neil’s knee

Mutiny and desertion were the underlying themes behind last week’s ‘Sasquatch Double Extravaganza’, but just as the team was set to crumble, miracles happen. Sasquatch miracles.

The Mansfield Sasquatches played a double header last week, playing games on both Wednesday and Thursday nights. It was an idea by the Sassies’ marketing department, to build hype and make a real event out of the games. Unfortunately the idea seems to have blown up in their faces.

On the Wednesday night the Sassies took on S.C.O Bible Studies Group, a rag-tag group of murderers and cut throats. Abortionists and lawyers the lot of them. The Sasquatches, full of pride, ran out on to the field with their heads held high… only to have those heads removed from their bodies and used as some sort of macabre display… proverbially.

The Bible Studies group, cut through the Sassy defences time and time again. They moved like greased lightning, and could possibly have been humming that song while doing so. The Sassies threw everything they had at them, but were simply shown up again and again.

The final score was 20-4, to S.C.O Bible Studies Group.

Morale was at an all time low. Depression had set in and just when it seemed like the Sassies had hit their lowest point, the unthinkable happened. So embarrassed was Sasquatch stalwart Bruce, that he quit the club that night. Effective immediately.

Heads dropped. How could they go on?

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 7.40pm. Wednesday 27th June 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 3
Crowd Size: 4 – Amy, Mikayla, Mrs Shoobridge and ‘friend’.
Mansfield Sasquatch Players: Doyle, Courtney, Kristen, Peter, Jason, Lachlan, Bruce, Stuey, Jacqui, Ory, Krystal.
Tries: Kristen, Jacqui, Lachlan x 2
Man of the Match: Jehovah

For the Sasquatch players, backing up from a night like the one previous was maddening. In the depths of despair, betrayal still fresh in the air, the Sasquatches looked like a team which had gone to hell and back. Many voiced discontent under their breath as they warmed up. Many still uncertain whether the game against Bye Round was still on. Whether a forfeit would just be called to end their suffering.

Doctors and psychiatrists, both still on the Sassy payroll since last week’s game, warned against the matches potential phsycial and mental effects on the team.

Somehow the heroic speech from their captain, the dashing and devilishly handsome, Doyle was able to convince them to at least play the game out.

From the second time was blown on though, it was obvious that their hearts weren’t in it. Too many dropped balls, too many poor passes. Time and again the offense would simply stroll past the Sassy players, giving them a love tap on the way through to a try.

As half time was called, Sasquatch player Bec packed up her stuff and simply left without saying a word.

Something snapped. The Sasquatches were on the very summit of something big, the team was at a crises point, and it could have fallen either way… but something inside the Sasquatches rekindled. A desire. A passion. A deep, dark instinct. Betrayal was thick in the air again, but this time it fed them. Their heads lifted. Eyes bloodshot and frenzied. Drawing from the ancient Sassy powers once more, the players all threw back their heads and roared to the heavens. “We will take no more”!!

Stalking on to the field; arms tensed, hairs bristling; the Sasquatches prepared themselves for war. Bye Round, once proud and certain, now stood shaken and uneasy and with good reason.

As time was blown on and the Sasquatches launched themselves into action, dodging and weaving through the opposition. They played with renewed life; like men and women possessed. For 20 minutes they played unliked anyone had played the great game of Touch Football before.

While not all the events of that night can be told here, as most are unable to be described in the human tongue, in the end The Mansfield Sasquatches snatched a heroic victory with a 14-5 loss to Bye Round.

Cementing their place, forever in the history books…

Competition: BMTA – Mixed 4
Date: 8.30pm. Thursday 28th June 2007
Venue: Whites Hill Reserve – Field 6
Crowd Size: 2 – Joel, Heidi
Mansfield Sasquatch Players: Doyle, Courtney, Kristen, Peter, Jason, Lachlan, Mitchell, Stuey, Jacqui, Ory, Krystal, Bec.
Tries: Yongas, Ory, Lachlan x 3
Man of the Match: Your mum