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Vodka Surprise

My last e-tutorial explained how to blend pies with alcohol and reshape them into donuts. That didn’t go down so well with… anyone. So this month I’ve decided to double down and make an alcoholic chocolate beverage:

Ingredients

You are going to need a bottle of vodka and a carton of eggs.

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Free range, if possible.

 

But Seriously

If you've never tried kinder chocolate, get off your computer and hurl yourself mouth-first into the confectionery aisle

If you’ve never tried kinder chocolate, get off your computer and hurl yourself mouth-first into the confectionery aisle.

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The Hunger Games IV: Extreme Satiation

The Hunger Games IV: Extreme Satiation

There is a lot of incredibly weird shit on YouTube. You probably know that. But some of the particularly weird shit I’ve been looking into recently is the “extreme eating” community. These are people who make it their thing to eat very large amounts of frequently gross and occasionally inedible substances in a short amount of time for the entertainment of their fans. There’s a shockingly large community of these people who spend time trying to one-up each other with how big a fool they can make themselves seem. With the knowledge that I’m writing about this soon after our friend Dave blended a meat pie into a donut on this blog, here are some of the biggest names in this carnival of foolishness:

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More Blended Pies

More Blended Pies

Three years ago, I blended a pie and ate it. It’s a long story, but basically, I lost a bet. I’ve always regretted the incident. I told myself that it was a mistake. Looked back on that blended pie slurry with disgust. As if it were the blender’s fault. Or my fault for coming up with such an idea. Ha. But what if I was wrong? What if the blended pie could be salvaged? What if… Like most days. Sunday Night Cooking...

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Sprint or Linger?

Sprint or Linger?

“Don’t you hate it when your stream goes AWOL and misses the toilet entirely?” began Doyle, bursting through the door with a coffee in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other.

“I can’t relate, to be honest,” replied a very startled woman to my left, attempting to hide her distaste. As a potential customer, she represented what might be considered a “first” for the burgeoning olilolo brand: revenue.

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olilolo Press Release: Interview with Doyle

This interview took place during November, and will appear in the February issue of “Stallions: The Magazine for the Australian Corporate Go-Getter, and Horse Enthusiast.”

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Simple Genius: A Casual Conversation with Doyle.

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When five of the worlds wittiest and most amusing writers banded together to create the Greatest Blog on Earth, that blog wasn’t olilolo.

olilolo is known to the masses as a blogging website aimed to distract the public from their otherwise sad and meaningless lives. We’re regaled with tales of drunken strippers sleeping with pythons in their bed chamber, conspiracy theories concerning Big Brother harbouring Schapelle Corby and even the taboo of intra-family marriage.

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What’s c*nt got to do, got to do with it?

A SHORT DISCLAIMER

Today we welcome the delightful Jeff into the growing list of olilolo guest writers. I’ve known Jeff for several years, and in that time he has only tried to drunkenly make love to me once. Or was that the other way around? It’s so hard to keep straight these days. The point is, he’s a fine, upstanding fellow; a paragon of the community.

So to compensate, he’s going to drop the C-bomb approximately 50 times in the next several paragraphs.

I seriously cannot stress this enough- if you are offended by that word, DON’T READ THIS ARTICLE. It’s sprinkled liberally. If your tastes run towards blander fare, then this dish might prove too spicy. You were warned.

-Stu

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“What’s cunt got to do, got to do with it?” ~ Socrates

A lot.

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