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Microsoft Closes Error Report Centre After Never Receiving An Error Report

Microsoft today announced they would be scrapping a key customer complaints division set up over a decade ago.

The department was initially set up as a general-purpose support centre, but was quickly repurposed to another task: dealing with the expected high volume of digital error reports sent by Microsoft’s automated reporting feature built into Windows.

A common sight for most Windows users.

A common sight for most Windows users.

However, instead of the flood of reports to be taken care of, the centre staff were met with quite the opposite.

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My Favourite Movie

My Favourite Movie

There have been some truly great films over the years. Films which move you, change the way you think about the world, or even just provide a fantastic ride you couldn’t get anywhere else. Citizen Kane. The Shawshank Redemption. Star Wars. Casablanca.

And I, like all people who pretend to be sophisticated, like to talk about my “favourite” films and list those sorts of examples, revelling in my excellent taste in films and sneering at people who profess to actually enjoy the big-budget brainless blockbusters which are flooding cinemas.

But deep down, I know it’s a sham. As much as I rail against it, I can’t escape the fact that when all is said and done, all I really want from a film is an enormously muscled man killing large numbers of people in amusing ways.

It should therefore come as no surprise that my favourite movie of all time is…

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Misconception

Misconception

Originally posted on 6th June 2011. ~ “Uh, Mr Doyle.” “Huh?”, I opened my eyes. “This is quite important; you should probably be awake.” “Suit yourself.” I sat up a little straighter. “Also you can’t have that drink in here.” “What drink?” I sipped my drink and pondered the question. “Um, that one.” “What one?” I swirled my glass listening...

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Meta News

Meta News

Here at the Mansfield Bugle, we pride ourselves as being more on top of the news than any other outlet. So much so that we’ve pursued this to it’s logical and retarded conclusion- MetaNews. Yes, this really is the only news source you’ll ever need, readers; this template will mean you’ll never have to read another news bulletin again! Simply plug in relevant names and facts, and you’re informed and ready to face the day!

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Hello, I’m Stuart Fightmaster, and this is olilolo MetaNews.

DEATH!! BLOOD!! HOLY SHIT!!

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Domestic Misfortune

Domestic Misfortune

I don’t mind ironing, although I don’t claim to be very good at it. There’s a certain homely charm in the smell of the fabric as it passes under the heat. However to be honest, when the alarm goes off and I have to make the decision to get up in the sub-10 degree weather and iron my shirt, or to sneak another 10 minutes beneath my toasty warm doona, I will invariably put the ironing off. Unfortunately this means that I am normally horribly late to work.

Tonight I decided to do my week’s ironing in one hit, so I never have to face this dilemma and can glide blissfully into each day without needing to complete any unpleasant activities before my first coffee, and hopefully not get fired.

Well, that was the theory anyway. Somehow tonight I have managed to ineptly ruin every single implement involved in the ironing process in a Rube-Goldberg-machine-like chain of destruction. I will recount to you how I found myself in this predicament.

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olilolo Press Release: Interview with Doyle

This interview took place during November, and will appear in the February issue of “Stallions: The Magazine for the Australian Corporate Go-Getter, and Horse Enthusiast.”

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Simple Genius: A Casual Conversation with Doyle.

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When five of the worlds wittiest and most amusing writers banded together to create the Greatest Blog on Earth, that blog wasn’t olilolo.

olilolo is known to the masses as a blogging website aimed to distract the public from their otherwise sad and meaningless lives. We’re regaled with tales of drunken strippers sleeping with pythons in their bed chamber, conspiracy theories concerning Big Brother harbouring Schapelle Corby and even the taboo of intra-family marriage.

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