I don’t mind ironing, although I don’t claim to be very good at it. There’s a certain homely charm in the smell of the fabric as it passes under the heat. However to be honest, when the alarm goes off and I have to make the decision to get up in the sub-10 degree weather and iron my shirt, or to sneak another 10 minutes beneath my toasty warm doona, I will invariably put the ironing off. Unfortunately this means that I am normally horribly late to work.

Tonight I decided to do my week’s ironing in one hit, so I never have to face this dilemma and can glide blissfully into each day without needing to complete any unpleasant activities before my first coffee, and hopefully not get fired.

Well, that was the theory anyway. Somehow tonight I have managed to ineptly ruin every single implement involved in the ironing process in a Rube-Goldberg-machine-like chain of destruction. I will recount to you how I found myself in this predicament.

BY BRUCE “LEOPARD” PLEINERASTISNAH | STAFF WRITER People were bewildered, amused and times alarmed today as a speight of unusual happenings took place across the South East Queensland region today. Newsrooms were inundated with thousands of callers phoning to report improbable events, including unicorn sightings, a rolling stone that gathers moss and a talking cat. Golfer Unterricht Lylers was delighted as each of the 18 holes...

I had the pleasure of reacquainting myself with an old familiar the other night, one whom I have not seen for well over ten years. It was a surreal experience to welcome back McDonalds’ fine McFeast Sandwich, now in Deluxe formation. I would like to invite you to share in this heartfelt re-union with me by supporting your local McDonalds Co-Op and purchasing one of these elusive, indulgent sandwiches. Good to have you back, old...

Greetings, fellow space-cadets. I feel it necessary to share with all of you the marvel of the product that I found this morning at my local convenience store. Yes, you read correctly, they are Chinese wafer-tube-biscuits called “Gookie”. In case you missed the brand on the (already amusing) aforementioned packaging: I think I speak for most of the global English-speaking marketplace when I exclaim in self-righteous...

Wouldn’t like to meet some of these people in a dark room (especially this one… <shudder>) - and - CRAZY NINJA CATS! You’ve probably seen them before (especially Doyle, since he’s already posted one of the pics), but I thought the rest of the pics deserved a place on the blog too. They’re, like, sooo cute. Do you think that in the ones where the kitties are jumping off the wall, that the person taking...