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The Mansfield Bugle

the mansfield bugle 66 fixed

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Hedge Your Bets

Hedge Your Bets

I quite like living in Australia. I think we’re quite lucky in a number of respects. It’s not, and we’re not, perfect; there certainly seems to be a fair few politicians on this island with us; but compared to some countries we’re doing alright overall.

However, there’s one thing I think we’ve really fallen behind on. One thing where the rest of the world, especially Europe, is really kicking our arse in… hedges.

I love a good hedge. Well crafted. Thick. Just begging to be caressed. It really fits beautifully with my love of heritage style, symmetry and nature.

I also love how the perfectly straight walls and stark right angles ripple in the breeze like you’re looking at one of those ugly Eastern-European Communist-era concrete buildings while on acid.

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Atkin’s Diet… ying

Atkin’s Diet… ying

The world is in a state of shock after recent studies seem to suggest that the Atkin’s Diet may cause heart disease if followed long-term, and has been linked with a growing number of coronary related deaths and slender, svelte corpses.

The Atkin’s Diet fad swept the West, with thousands ditching those unhealthy carbs for all the goodness of protein and fat; and the results were remarkable with dieters losing an average of 28% of their body weight in a matter of months.

After years of unsuccessfully trying to encourage people to lose weight and live healthier, it was a godsend for Ministers of Health and Doctors the world over.

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Are telemarketers making us racist?

Are telemarketers making us racist?

It’s a Friday night. You’ve just jumped out of the shower, slipped into your tracky dacks and are settling in to watch *local football match* when there’s a ring.

The phone.

Always at the worst moment, the phone.

Should you ignore it? It’s probably just someone selling something. What if something’s wrong? It’ll be nothing. What if it’s something?

Fine.

“Hello?,” you ask a little frustrated but also worried.

“Hello sir, how are you this evening? That’s great. Have you got a moment? Good. Have you got children or loved ones? Are they prepared? Prepared for a life without you? With Acme life insurance…”

You throw the phone down in frustration and curse the bastard, his family and everyone he’s ever met.

Increasingly, it’s likely “the bastard” was based somewhere in the Indian sub-continent; where knowledge of English and low wages combine to become the perfect place to outsource your customer service or sales department.

We’ve all heard the story: “Mate, the company only reaped $4.2 billion last year. If I send the whole department to Bangladesh I can run the place for the same cost as I’d have to pay one greedy westerner. After the share price goes up, I’ll take half the savings as a bonus, blow it on cocaine and both me and shareholders will be rapt.”

What I’ve been wondering for some time though is, is the whole process accidentally making us racist?

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Misconception

Misconception

Originally posted on 6th June 2011. ~ “Uh, Mr Doyle.” “Huh?”, I opened my eyes. “This is quite important; you should probably be awake.” “Suit yourself.” I sat up a little straighter. “Also you can’t have that drink in here.” “What drink?” I sipped my drink and pondered the question. “Um, that one.” “What one?” I swirled my glass listening...

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